Hotline Konoha
by AnimeCountDown
Summary: Hotline Konoha! Where ALL the Naruto characters are gathered just for YOU! Curious about why Sakura continues to ignore Naruto? Or are you wondering if Ino secretly has a crush on a certain lazy ninja instead of a prodigy? FIND OUT HERE!
1. Broadcast: 1

**HOTLINE KONOHA!!!!!!!!!**

**ACD:** Ok. I'm here to answer all your questions about all your favorite ninja inhabiting Konoha! Give a big hello everyone.

**Naruto:** HEY! What's up everyone? I'm gonna be Hokage!

**Sasuke: **Shut up, loser. You're dreams are useless… and so is this… thing.

**Sakura: **Sasuke, you don't have to be so mean. Say hi! Hi, people!

**Kakashi: **Hm? Oh, yes. Hello.

**Kiba: **Yahoo!!! What's up?

**Shino:** This is irritating…

**Hinata: **U-um… H-hello, e-everyone.

**Kurenai:** Hinata, Hinata, Hinata… Hi, anyways.

**Shikamaru:** Troublesome hotline…

**Choji: **Are their free snacks? Can I eat if I say hi?

I**no:** God, you guys! Be a little more energetic! Hey, what's up everybody?

**Asuma:** Greetings.

**Neji: **If I must be here, then hello to you.

**Lee:** I GREET THE BEAUTIFUL POWER TO YOUTH AND ITS AWESOMENESS!!!

**Tenten: **LEE!! SHUT UP!! God… Hi there.

**Gai: **GOOD ONE, LEE!

**Tsunade: **Yeah, hi and all. I have important business to get to! Hurry up!

**Shizune: **Lady Tsunade, do you mean the party you're planning for this weekend?

**Jiraiya: **PARTY? Will there be girls! Oh, there are girls here!!!!

**ACD:** Shut it, ya perv! Anyway. These are our guests for however long you have questions or suggestions for them. For any personal requests, I can send invitations to all the shinobi you want until we're one big ninja family!

**Sasuke:** Minus Itachi…

**Naruto: **Oh shut up.

**Sasuke: **Say again, loser?

**Sakura:** Guys, not right now.

**ACD:** Yes, thank you, Sakura. So, please stay in touch and yes, we will be having contests with each feedback. The contest will vary depending on some suggestions, opinions, results of other contests, and/or my mood.

**Kiba: **I win good looks!

**Naruto: **Nah, man! I'm totally sexier!

**Lee:** I think we all know who would be the winner for that my dear friends.

**Neji: **Lee, knock it off.

**Lee:** Well, Neji. We know you certainly wouldn't win.

silence from everyone

**Neji:** And why not?

**Lee:** Your hairstyle is ridiculous!

everyone sweat drops and falls anime style

**Jiraiya:** Ok, ok. I think we all know who would win.

**Sakura & Ino: **SASUKE WOULD!!!!!!!!!!!

Sasuke sighs

**Naruto:** NO FAIR!

**Hinata:** I-I w-would v-v-vote f-f-f-for y-you, N-Naruto.

**Naruto & Neji: **Really?

more silence from everyone

**Hinata:** U-umm…..

**ACD:** Ok, ok! Enough chatting. If you want to find out who looks the best, then that will be our first contest.

**Tsunade:** What? Good looks?

**ACD: **All right! _Shinobi Hotline Contest #1: Best Looking Male Ninja_. The contest will be held between seven people that we will randomly draw out of a hat. Ok, Sakura, how 'bout you pick one?

Sakura squeals in excitement

**Sakura: **Yay! Please get Sasuke, please get Sasuke, please get… NARUTO?????

**Naruto:** All right!!! I'm gonna be the _best looking_ Hokage!

**Kakashi:** Naruto, get of the table.

**Naruto: **Eh… right. Heheh…. Ehhh…

**ACD: **Ok. _Contestant #1 is:_ Naruto Uzumaki!

**Kiba: **WOOT! Go Naruto!

**Hinata:** C-c-congratulations, N-N-Naruto…

**Naruto:** Thanks, Hinata!

**ACD: **Ok, ok, ok! Quiet down people. Ok, next. How about… Oh, Kiba you pick one.

**Kiba:** All right! Yeah! I'm gonna pick a good one! I've got… I've… got…

Kiba goes silent

**ACD: **Um… I kinda need to know who it is… Kiba?

Kiba begins to giggle

**Hinata: **K-Kiba?

Kiba bursts in to hysterics

**Kiba:** I PICKED KAKASHI!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! He HAS to lose! No one knows what he looks like! HA!!!! NARUTO'S GOT A CLEAR SHOT!

**ACD: **Ok. So, _Contestant #2 is:_ Kakashi Hatake.

**Kakashi: **My, my. This shall be interesting, won't it?

**Gai:** I must be picked! I CANNOT LOSE TO KAKASHI!!!!

silence from everyone

**ACD:** Ok, chill Gai. If it's such a big deal, you pick the next one.

**Gai: **Did you hear that Lee? I'M PICKING A NAME!

**Lee:** Incredible, Gai-sensei! However did you master such youth and timing?

**Neji: **He couldn't help it… It was just-

**Everyone: **DESTINY?

Neji stares wide-eyed for a few seconds before shrinking

**Neji: **I was going to say 'a random drawing', but if it upsets you that much…

**Everyone: **Oh…

**Gai: **AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Kakashi: **Oh god, no….

**Kurenai:** Please tell me he didn't….

**Asuma: **…Pick himself…

**Lee:** GO GAI-SENSEI!!!

Gai starts crying as if happy

**Gai: **No, no. But I am so… PROUD… to pass on the good looks of youth to my beloved student… who was always there for the team…

Lee tears up

**Gai: **He always kept training no matter what… he was always at the top of his game… he saved Konoha numerous times… and he will always be like a son to me…

**Lee: **Oh GAI-SENS-

**Gai:** NEJI!!!!!

silence as Lee crashes downwards, Neji's face falls and everyone else sweat drops

**Neji:** If I must…

**Gai: **I'm so proud!

**Tenten:** You already said that, Gai… and good luck, Neji.

**Neji: **I'm sure I'll need it, according to… Lee, that is…

**Hinata:** Well done… Neji….

**Naruto: **YEAH!!! GO NEJI!

**Kiba: **WOOT FOR NEJI!!!

**Sasuke:** Stupid Hyugas.

**ACD:** All right, shut up! Our next drawing. Shikamaru, pick us one, will you?

silence from everyone

**ACD:** Shikamaru?

more silence from everyone

**Ino:** WAKE UP YA LAZY IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ino pushes Shikamaru from his chair

**Shikamaru:** Oof!! God, troublesome woman.

gets back in his chair while Ino smirks confidently

**Shikamaru: **All right… fine… fine… I got Ino.

**Ino: **WHAT???????????????

Sakura bursts into insane laughter

**ACD: **Ummm….

**Shikamaru:** Just kidding, I got… me…

**Ino: **HA!

**Shikamaru:** Yeah, yeah… Troublesome contests…

**ACD: **Ok, so we've got _Contestant #3 and #4:_ Neji Hyuga and Shikamaru Nara. Next, before we're here all day. Jiraiya, pick one.

**Jiraiya:** Ok, ok… if you insist on my autograph!

silence from everyone as they stare at Jiraiya standing in front of a mirror

**Jiraiya:** Oh. Er-hm. All right. This paper says, Sasuke.

**Sasuke: **Damn it.

**Sakura & Ino:** Yay for Sasuke!!!!

**Naruto: **I'll be you Sasuke!

**Sasuke:** Whatever, loser.

**Lee:** Amazing…

**Gai: **What is it, Lee?

**Lee: **Yay and Sasuke rhyme, Gai-sensei!!!

**Gai: **Genius!!!!!!

everyone sweat drops

**ACD: **Ok… then… _Contestant #5 is:_ Sasuke Uchiha. How about Asuma picks one for us?

**Asuma: **Well all right. Hmmm….. This one's…

**ACD: **What?

**Asuma: **Jiraiya…

silence from everyone

**Jiraiya:** STRIKE! I'll score the hot ones for sure this time!!! Come on babes!! Come to Jiraiya!

**Tsunade: **Shut your hole, Jiraiya.

**Naruto: **Yea, pervy sage! Who on Earth would vote for you?

**Jiraiya: **Why you little-

**ACD: **OK!!! Heheh.. _Contestant #6 is: _… Jiraiya…. ANYWAY! Let's move on, shall we? Hinata, go ahead and pick.

**Hinata:** U-um… o-ok….. O-oh… K-K-Kiba

**Kiba:** All right man!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go me! FORGET NARUTO! I'M WINNING THIS CONTEST!!!!!!

**Naruto: **SAY WHAT?

**Kiba:** You heard me, runt!

**Naruto: **What'd you call me?

**ACD: **OK, so _Contestant #7 is: _Kiba Inuzuka. That's all seven of our contestants!! I hope you will tune in next time to find out who the winner of our contest is! Who really looks the best? Naruto? Kakashi? Neji? Shikamaru? Sasuke? Jiraiya? Or Kiba? YOU CHOOSE! Just tune in and vote! I have to get at least 30 votes in order to put up my next-

**Naruto: **Yeah! So CALL CALL CALL!!! AND VOTE FOR ME!!!

**Kiba:** OR ME!!!

**Jiraiya: **Nah, vote for me instead! Papa Jiraiya will come and visit you if you do!!!!

**Shikamaru: **Ew.

**Choji:** Yeah, vote for Shikamaru!

**Sakura & Ino: **VOTE FOR SASUKE!!!!!

**Sasuke: **Great… advertisement….

**Tenten: **I say, go for Neji.

**Neji: **Why?

**Tenten: **Ummm……..

**Lee: **YOUTHFUL ROMANCE FILLS THE AIR.

**Tenten: **NOT WITH YOU SCREAMING ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!

**Neji: **Ow… my ear….

**Tenten: **Whoops… sorry Neji!

**Kakashi:** I say vote for me…. and I'll show you what I look like.

**Everyone Else: **THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!

**Kakashi: **Why ever not?

**Everyone Else: **BECAUSE WE'RE ALL DYING TO KNOW TOO!!!!

Kakashi smirks

**ACD:** Ok, ok! That's all for now! And remember, ask plenty of questions for our young ninjas here. Send out any requests for other ninja-

**Sasuke: **Except Itachi

**ACD: **-and we'll send them an invitation! Vote, ask, and request! It's all here!!!! See ya next time, at Hotline Konoha!!!!!

**Everyone: **BYE!!!!!

A/N: Ok, I got bored. Simple as that. And I've seen a lot of these with major OOC characters, though this is supposed to be funny, so there will be slight OOC. But seriously. VOTE for whoever you like the best. REQUEST any of the ninja that aren't on here to come join the Hotline. And ASK as many questions as you want, but only three per review.

**Yes, for all of you that don't get it! By voting, requesting, or asking, you have to review. So go ahead!!! Get carried away!!!!!!!!**

**Thanks,**

**AnimeCountDown**


	2. Broadcast: 2

**HOTLINE KONOHA!!!!!!!!!**

**ACD: **Hey, what is up? It's been a while since we last aired, but it's finally come in! All the results I need! Of course, I didn't exactly get all the reviews I needed, so I had to go around my school and some other websites for the information, and other questions that wanted to be asked. So not everyone who asks questions or for requests will be able to be found on this website. Just in case you were wondering. And so, the results-.

**Naruto: **GET ON WITH IT! WHO'S LOOKS THE BEST???? WHO WON? WHO WON? WHO WON?

stares wide-eyed at Naruto and Kiba

**Sasuke:** Shut up, dobe. She was getting to it.

**Sakura: **God, Naruto! Stop being so stupid… Well… Sasuke won, right?

**Ino:** Of course he did! See, Sasuke! I have much more faith in you than forehead-girl over there!

**Sakura: **Watch it Ino-pig! If you behave now, I might still invite you to our wedding!

**Sasuke & Naruto:** Wedding?

**Ino: **You wish!

**Kiba:** SHUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

everyone goes silent

**Hinata:** K-K-kiba…

**Shino: **Ridiculous.

**ACD:** Ok, ok, ok! I'll give you the results right now.

**Neji:** Oh, dear God, help me.

**Gai:** Pick NEJI!!!!

Neji blinks 

**Neji:** Ooookkk…..

**ACD:** Ok! In seventh place… Is _Contestant #6:_ Jiraiya, with 1 vote.

everyone stares while Jiraiya hangs his head

**Tsunade:** Who the hell voted for him?

**ACD: **Who knows? But in sixth place is _Contestant #7:_ Kiba Inzuka, with 9 votes.

Kiba's jaw drops as Naruto bursts into insane laughter

**Hinata:** I-it's o-o-ok K-kiba….

**Kiba:** Damn it…

**ACD:** Our fifth place winner is _Contestant #1:_ Naruto Uzumaki, with 15 votes.

Now Kiba points and laughs

**Naruto:** This can't be! I LOST TO SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Sakura:** What else is new?

**Sasuke:** Loser…

**ACD:** God, can I get through two rankings in a row without you guys screaming? Well… Fourth place is… a tie?

**Everyone:** Huh? WHO?

**ACD:** Well, _Contestants #3 and #4: _Neji Hyuga and Shikamaru Nara, with 23 votes each.

**Ino:** SHIKAMARU TIED WITH NEJI??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL??????????????????????????????

**Neji:** I tied with a Nara?

**Shikamaru:** Hmmm… Troublesome… Ino… Ino stop… God, stop screaming, will ya? Shut up! Wait… No, not with chair! Ino, put it down! Ino-Shit! Ow! God, you troublesome woman! No, I'm sorry. I take it back. Just put the pencil down.

**ACD:** Ok, ok, ok! Now that just leaves second and first place-

**Naruto:** What happened to third place?

**Sasuke:** There is no third place, loser. If it's a tie, then technically they take up both those spots because there can't be anyone else to fill it in.

**Naruto:** I'LL FILL IT IN!

**Sasuke:** STOP JUMPING ON THE TABLE GOD DAMN IT!

Sasuke knocks Naruto off

**Naruto:** Ow….

**Sasuke:** Plus, you got fifth place, which would really be fourth place since there can't be a seventh place due to the tie. So, basically, Jiraiya got sixth, Kiba got fifth, you got fourth, Neji and Shikamaru got third-

**Sakura: **WAIT!

Everyone stops to look at Sakura

**Sakura: **That means Kakashi and Sasuke are competing for first place?

**ACD:** Yeah, and I could tell you that _Contestant #5: _Sasuke Uchiha got second place with 31 votes if you'd shut up.

**Kiba: **Well, get on with it then.

Everyone stares at Kiba crazily

**Kiba:** What?

**Neji: **She just told us, idiot.

**Sasuke: **You're kidding?

**Sakura & Ino: **SASUKE LOST TO KAKASHI?????

**Kakashi: **Wow… I guess I'll have to show you what's under my mask…

**Sasuke, Sakura & Naruto:** Oh GOD!!!!

The three of them hit their heads on their palms as Kakashi pulls his mask down

**Ino:** HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Hinata:** O-o-o-oh m-m-m-my…

**Tenten:** Daaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnn………….

**Gai:** NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kakashi's BETTER!!!!!

**Lee:** Such a wonderful display of youth….

**Neji:** That's… weird…

**Kurenai:** Wow.

**Asuma: **Odd…

**Shikamaru:** Yeah, yeah… Um… Ino kinda… fainted.

**Choji:** Wow, and I thought Kakashi was old!

**Kiba:** He is definitely NOT old!!!!

**Tsunade: **Not that there's anything wrong with that… But yes, that IS amazing.

**Shizune:** … Marvelous.

**Jiraiya:** Damn… Fucking… Pretty… Boy…

**ACD: **You're just jealous cuz Kakashi's hot!

**Sasuke, Sakura & Naruto:** WHAT?

All three look up and their jaws drop

**Sakura: **I FUCKING MISSED IT?

**Sasuke: **Oh. My. God.

**Naruto: **PULL IT DOWN AGAIN, KAKASHI! WE DIDN'T SEE!!!!!

**Kakashi: **That's your own fault Naruto. You really should pay more attention. You're still the class clown.

Sasuke, Sakura & Naruto sweat drop and look down

**Sakura: **That's soooo not fair.

**Sasuke: **Fuck you, Kakashi…

**Naruto:** YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**ACD: **So! Now for those that asked our little shinobi here questions they've been wanting answers to for a long, long, long time. First up, from Haley07:

**Haley07:** Ok, Ino.

**Ino: **Oh, goody!

**Haley07:** We all know you've liked Sasuke these past years, but have you ever given Shikamaru a thought?

Ino blinks

**Ino:** Shikamaru…?

**Choji:** He's asleep…

**Sakura:** Yeah, just tell us how you REALLY feel.

Sakura sets up a tape recorder

**Ino: **Well… I don't know… I never really thought about it. I mean… If you actually take a look, Shika here is actually quite the cutie, huh? And he's smart, not to mention a reliable friend and teammate. I should know, we've been friends forever. Do I like Shikamaru… I guess I kinda do, a little. Comparing him with Sasuke is still hard for me, but… I'd never say it to his face, but I think I would actually consider going out with him…

Shikamaru snorts and laughs

**Ino: **HE HEARD ME????????? NOOOO!!!!!! He'll hold it against me forever!!!!!!!

Sakura bursts into laughter with Shikamaru

**ACD: **Hmm… well then. Ok, Ino, stop sobbing over there! Shikamaru and Sakura… SHUT UP! Haley07 has another question.

Everyone is quiet

**Haley07:** This one is for Shikamaru, actually.

Shikamaru sighs and rolls his eyes

**Shikamaru:** Just great… Troublesome woman… Anyway, what?

**Haley07: **Well…You DO like Ino more than Temari, right?

Everyone blinks and turns to Shikamaru anxiously, who blushes and sweat drops

**Shikamaru:** Heheh… STOP STARING AT ME!

No tension, but Ino keeps staring

**Shikamaru:** Hmm… Ino or Temari, huh? The two most troublesome women I know. But I'd have to say that I prefer Ino. Temari is much more troublesome and I've known Ino for the majority of my life. So it would only be obvious to say in the least that it's logical to trust Ino more, not to mention like her… But I never said that I like her like THAT! So don't get any ideas… I'm just saying, ya know? …Crap…

**Ino:** AWWW!!!! You love me!

Ino suffocates Shikamaru in a hug

**Shikamaru: **Oh, God! Ino, get off! I didn't mean it like that! Get off! Now I know how Sasuke feels… INO!!!

**Choji: **I soooo don't feel sorry for you. I've been waiting for the truth to come out for years.

**Shikamaru: **WHAT TRUTH???? INO!!!!!!!!!!

**ACD:** Ok… That was interesting. Thank you Haley07. Now we have a question from Heartless Ghostie.

**Heartless Ghostie:** Ok, plain and simple. Sakura, do you ever think you'd fall in love with Neji?

Neji chokes

Sakura falls out of her chair

**Sakura: **NEJI???

**Neji: **WHAT???

**ACD:** Calm down… Sakura, please answer the question.

**Sakura: **No way! Neji is much too stuck up and arrogant, though he has made quite the change over the years. I WOULD NEVER CONSIDER NEJI!!! Not over Sasuke. Uchihas are better than Hyugas anyway!

**Neji:** Thanks…

**Sasuke: **Stupid Hyugas…

**Neji:** Would you shut up about that? God, you retarded Uchiha.

**Sasuke:** Hypocrite!!!!!!!!

**Neji:** Shut up!

**Heartless Ghostie: **What about Itachi?

**Nearly Everyone: **WHAT???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Hinata: **W-w-w-who's I-I-I-Itachi?

**Sasuke: **A prick… Bastard. Mother fucking piece of shit that needs to go to hell!!!!!!!!!

**Sakura: **ITACHI OVER SASUKE??? I would never….

**Sasuke: **What?

silence

**Sasuke:** Sakura!

more silence

**Sasuke: **Sakura!!!!!! Now I WANT you to say that you love me! I don't care anymore!!!! I can't lose to him!!!!!!! No!!!! Stop thinking! There's nothing to think about!!!! Answer me, god damn it!!! SAKURA!!!

**Naruto:** Holy shit…

**Sakura: **Aww… Sasuke… Wait… Do you just care because you like me or because it means you'd win against Itachi for once?

**Sasuke:** Ummm…. Ehh… Well…

**Sakura: **Asshole…

Everyone goes wide-eyed, except Sasuke, who falls out of his chair

**Sakura: **Anyway, I guess I would consider it. Just to see if he's as much as a jerk as Sasuke is… But I really don't know him and I really have always had my eye on Sasuke… But I guess if he did join the hotline…

ACD laughs evilly

**Sakura: **What?

**ACD:** Well… Heartless Ghostie was thinking the same thing, and asked me to send a request to Akatsuki.

**Everyone: **WHAT???

**ACD:** Chill out. Heartless Ghostie wished for me to request three of their members, but Pein refused to come. But…

**Sasuke: **WHO THE HELL IS COMING???

**ACD:** Everyone, please welcome Itachi Uchiha and Deidara!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An audience cheers as Itachi and Deidara walk up

**Deidara:** All right, yeah! This is pretty cool!

**Itachi: **Hn… What the hell?

Everyone else is staring at them

**ACD:** Don't worry you guys! They signed a contract and they won't hurt any of you. Cuz you all know they could kick your asses. But they won't hurt you-

**Sasuke: **I could beat Itachi!

**ACD:** If you don't attack them.

Sasuke slumps in his seat while Itachi smirks

**ACD:** Ok, so we have to decide our next contest. This one will contain both girls and boys. Here we are _Shinobi Hotline Contest #2: Most Dangerous Ninja_. Don't say a word Naruto, Sasuke! Just shut up. Here, Deidara and Itachi, since you two are new, I'll explain-

**Itachi: **That's unnecessary. We know these… rules.

**ACD: **… Hooooowwwwww?????????

Everyone stares at Itachi

**Itachi: **What? Tobi listens to it.

**Deidara: **It's annoying, yeah. He really needs to get a life… A hobby or something. He should be more artistic, like me, yeah!

**Naruto: **What's so artistic about you, huh?

**Deidara: **That I can blow your face off and still make THAT look beautiful, yeah. You really ARE a loser, yeah!

**Sasuke: **See?

**Naruto: **God!!!! Even Akatsuki says it!

**ACD: **Ok, Choji, you pick one.

**Choji:** Hey, I got Ino!

**Ino: **I am SO gonna win.

**ACD:** How about you, Tenten?

**Tenten: **Ok… This one says…

Tenten giggles

**Neji:** Oh, please don't say it's me…

**Tenten:** No… It's Sakura…

**Sakura: **IN YOUR FACE INO-PIG!!!

**Ino: **Shit….

**ACD:** Here ya go Naruto. You pick one.

Naruto is silent 

**ACD:** Naruto?

**Naruto: **I want an apology.

**Sasuke: **My God!

**Sakura: **What the hell, Naruto?

**Deidara: **Whatever, yeah. Sorry.

**Naruto: **Now you, Sasuke.

**Sasuke: **No. Fucking. Way.

**ACD:** JUST SAY SORRY, GOD DAMN IT!

**Sasuke: **Fine… Sorry.

**Naruto: **HA! Anyway, I got… What the fuck?? ITACHI???

**Sakura & Ino: **Damn it!

**Itachi: **Hn…

**Sasuke: **NOOOO!!!!!!!!

**ACD:** Tsunade, pick one.

**Tsunade:** This one's Shizune.

**Shizune: **Huh?

**ACD:** Good. Not much complaint there. Neji?

**Neji: **This one is… God, dare I say it… Lee….

Everyone plugs their ears except Itachi and Deidara 

**Lee: **YES!!!!!!!! THE FULL POWER OF YOUTH WILL SHINE ON YOU ALL! KONOHA'S BEAUTIFUL GREEN BEAST WILL WIN! I AM THE MOST POWERFUL! I AM THE MOST GORGEOUS! I WILL WIN FOR SURE!! GAI-SENSEI! I WILL NOT DISAPPOINT YOU!

Itachi's eye twitches

**Itachi: **What… The… Hell…?

**Deidara: **What the fuck was that about?

**ACD:** We're used to it. Here, Deidara, you can pick one.

**Deidara: **Hmmm… This one says… Stupid Kakashi, yeah.

**Kakashi:** Hmm… But.. does it really say.. stupid Kakashi?

**ACD:** NO! Anyway. So we have our _Contestant #1:_ Ino Yamanaka, _Contestant #2:_ Sakura Haruno, _Contestant #3:_ Itachi Uchiha, _Contestant #4:_ Shizune,_ Contestant #5: _Rock Lee, and_ Contestant #6:_ Kakashi Hatake… One more. Mmm… Shino?

**Shino:** If you insist… This is… This is… This is… Wow… Umm… Heheh… I don't think… No…

**ACD:** What?

**Shino: **Hi-Hinata….

Hinata faints

**Neji: **Oh God…

**ACD: **Ok _Contestant #7: _Hinata Hyuga… That'll be interesting. So, everyone say bye!

**Everyone Besides Sasuke, Neji, Shino, Shikamaru & Itachi: **BYE!!!!

**ACD:** EVERYONE!!!

**Neji & Shino: **Kinda busy getting Hinata up!

**Sasuke & Itachi: **No way.

Sasuke and Itachi glare at each other

**Sasuke & Itachi: **Poser.

Everyone blinks

**Sasuke & Itachi: **Stop that! Quit it! God… Fuck you! What the hell?

**ACD:** Ok… Shikamaru… God, wake up boy! Anyway! Review please! Tune in and VOTE, ASK, AND REQUEST!!!!! GO GO GO GO!!!! PRESS THAT LITTLE PURPLE BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN! See ya next time, at Hotline Konoha!


	3. Broadcast: 3

**ACD:** We're baaaaacccckkkk!!!! I know everyone missed us, but now we're here and it's time to get started! Don't worry, this little episode will be enough to cover all the time we missed! Unfortunately, I'd like to say straight off before the others say anything that there were no requests! Come on guys…

**Naruto:** YEAH! SHOW THE LOVE, MAN!"

**Sakura: **Naruto! Shut. Up. You annoying little idiot!

**ACD: **ANYWAY! Our contest results are in and ready to be announced! And later we have a whole bunch of questions for our much loved shinobi! AND! We'll be having my sister on the show today, so boo ya! Shout out to her!

**Naruto:** Can you please get on with it?

**Ino:** Really… I'm kind of curious too…

**Sakura: **Truthfully… I'm WORRIED.

**Sasuke:** Stupid Uchihas…

everyone gets silent and stares at Sasuke uncertainly

**ACD:** Sasuke… you're pretty weird. Anyway. SHUT UP BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING. Okay, in last place is _Contestant #4:_ Shizune, with 4 votes.

**Shizune:** Oh…

**Tsunade:** Come on, Shizune! I had some money placed on you!"

**Shizune:** Really Lady Tsunade?

**Tsunade:** Nah. I voted for Sakura!"

**ACD:** Well shut up, and let's see who ELSE voted for her, hm? In sixth place is _Contestant #1:_ Ino Yamanaka.

**Sakura:** HAHA! Ino-pig lost to me! Again!

**Ino:** Oh yeah? Well Sasuke still loves me!

**Sakura: **I don't care.

Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi, and Ino's eyes grow wide and everyone silences

**Deidara:** Damn, Itachi. You're brother's more popular than I thought, yeah. That's pretty…

**Itachi:** Strange? I know.

**Deidara:** I guess he takes after you, yeah.

**Sasuke:** Oh… My… God…

**Ino:** Holy fuck…

**Naruto:** I HAVE A CHANCE!

**Kakashi:** She'd rather date Neji, Naruto.

**Naruto:** Shut up you old man!

**ACD:** Wow… Well… That was… awkward… The fifth place winner is _Contestant #5:_ Rock Lee.

**Lee:** I'M SORRY GAI-SENSEI! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I'LL DO ONE THOUSAND LAPS AROUND KONOHA TO PAY OFF MY DEBT!

**Tenten:** What debt? …Neji… Say something… Insult him! Why have you been staring off blankly for the past five minutes??? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

**Neji:** Stop… Stop shaking me, Tenten… It's… Ask Kiba… or Shino…

**Shino:** Well…

**Kurenai:** Hinata hasn't been picked yet…

Hinata faints

**Neji:** Oh God…

Kiba and Neji pick up Hinata again

**ACD:** Hm… Well _Contestant #6: _Kakashi Hatake gets fourth place with 27 votes.

**Kakashi:** I lost to…

**Sakura:** ME!!! HA!

**Sasuke:** Uh…

**Naruto: **Yeah…

**Ino: **I'm still shocked about the Sasuke thing… BUT THIS, TOO?

**ACD:** Yep… Well… She's right next. Third place is_ Contestant #2:_ Sakura Haruno… with 29 votes…

**Sakura: **HA! KAKASHI! I beat you by… wait.. I only beat him by TWO votes???

**Kakashi:** Well… Now I don't feel so bad.

**ACD:** Good to know… And… The last two…

**Deidara:** HA! Itachi… You're competing with the Hyuga heiress, who just FAINTING at the thought of being the strongest, yeah. I'll never let it go.

**Itachi:** Hn…

**Sasuke:** You're going to lose brother!

**Sakura: **Probably not.

**ACD: **It doesn't matter what you all think… cuz he did.

the room gets completely silent and everyone stares at ACD

**Itachi:** … What?

**Sasuke:** HA! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Sakura: **Oh…my…God…

**Itachi:** You're kidding? …right?

**Deidara:** Geesh… Some faith all those fangirls have, huh? I wonder if there are fanBOYS… That's weird, yeah.

**Neji:** W-what d-d-did you j-just s-s-s-say???

**ACD:** Well… Second place belongs to _Contestant #3:_ Itachi Uchiha. He got 33 votes.

**Kiba:** How many… did Hinata get?

**Kurenai:** Oh my… Just… be there to catch her when she wakes up…and you tell her…

**ACD:** If I were her, I'd probably laugh…

**Itachi:** Whhhhyyyy?

**ACD:** Cuz first place belongs to _Contestant #7:_ Hinata Hyuga with… heheheheh…

**Itachi: **What? Tell me… Now…

**ACD:** 34 votes.

**Itachi:** … You're kidding right?

**Sasuke:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN YOUR FACE! YOUR UGLY MOTHER FUCKING FACE!

**Itachi:** How immature you are little brother. And I can assure you there are others you believe otherwise… Apparently, your opinion on my…looks…is rather… shall I say… wrong.

**Sakura:** But, if it's an opinion, than it can't be wrong.

**Itachi:** Well, his doesn't matter… So it's wrong.

Sasuke pouts

**Sasuke:** I hate you.

**Itachi:** Good.

**Naruto: **I hate you too.

**Deidara:** With all the fanmail ITACHI gets, I'm sure it'd take a lot more of you to balance out the love/hate debate, yeah.

**Kakashi:** You're not helping, Deidara.

**Deidara:** So?

**Itachi:** Shut up.

**Deidara:** Yeah? Well, I hate you, too, asshole.

**Itachi:** Hn…

**ACD:** QUESTION TIME!

**Ino:** YAY! Ask me if I like Shikamaru! The answer will be RIGHT this time! I don't like him!

**ACD:** Well… Nobody has any questions for you…Ino…But our first question comes from Dark-Alora!

**Dark-Alora:** I've got a couple questions. The first is for Itachi.

**Deidara:** Saw that coming.

**Itachi:** Hn… Your question?

**Dark-Alora:** Would you ever consider going out with Sakura?

**Sasuke:** NO! SHE'S MINE!

Sasuke desperately clings to Sakura

**Naruto:** Dude.

**Kakashi:** Wow…

**Ino:** NO WAY!

Itachi stares at Sasuke strangely

**Sakura:** Umm… Get off… Please…. That's…weird.. and I can't breath.

Sakura pokes Sasuke until he gets off unwillingly, staring at Itachi

**Dark-Alora:** Um… Itachi?

**Itachi:** Well… Hmm… An interesting question. It would really depend. In my current position in Akatsuki, I would not have the possibility, or luxury to some people, of considering ANY woman as a companion or… lover, I suppose. If I were not in Akatsuki, and not currently in my situation, there is a big chance that I actually WOULD consider Sakura. She's very attractive, strong, capable of handling herself, and I doubt she would prove disappointing. Plus, Sasuke would hate me even more.

silence from everyone as Sakura, Deidara, Sasuke, Ino, and Naruto grow wide-eyed

**Deidara:** Dude…seriously?

**Itachi:** …yes….

**Ino:** Great. So she blows off one Uchiha and gets the better one.

**Sasuke:** Huh?

**Itachi:** Wait. I never said…

**Sakura: **Itachi Uchiha called me….

**Ino:** I know… That's…

**Sakura:** I know…

**Kakashi:** Awkward.

**Naruto:** I HATE YOU EVEN MORE!!!!!

**Itachi:** But I didn't say…

**Tsunade:** Well this is a problem…

**Shizune:** Okay. Mental note to increase Konoha's defenses.

**Deidara:** I beat Tobi and Kisame are in hysterics right now…

**Itachi:** But…

**ACD:** Okay, that was only the first question! And Dark-Alora has another one.

**Dark-Alora:** Oh… and why does your brother's hair look like a cocatoo?

silence

**Itachi:** Is that a question for me…or my brother? Because I honestly don't know.

**Sasuke:** Why… Does… My hair… Look… Like… A cocatoo? WHAT THE FUCK? I DON'T KNOW! It just… stays like that! Whether I brush it or put gel in it! And I freakin' used NARUTO'S gel! It STILL wouldn't work! I wake up like this, I go to sleep like this… I bet you like Itachi's hair don't you? It's straight and not naturally spiky… Stupid hair… Yeah, and it's actually black! MY hair is freakin' blue! Stupid colors…

**Sakura:** Sasuke… I believe you're harboring very unhealthy…issues…

**Sasuke:** No I'm not. I just don't like my hair. I don't like my team. I don't like my life. AND I HATE MY BROTHER!

**Tsunade:** Shizune, mark a checkup for Sasuke Uchiha in the medical books. We'll be seeing you next Friday, Mr. Uchiha.

**Sasuke:** No!

**Dark-Alora:** Itachi's hair is nice…

**Sasuke:** SHUT UP!!!!

**ACD:** NO YELLING AT THE QUESTIONERS! Now. Thank you Dark-Alora… That let us see some things we needed to take care of… Sasuke… Now, it looks like we'll be getting some regulars. It's Heartless Ghostie again!

**Heartless Ghostie:** Hey! My question is for Itachi.

**Itachi:** Didn't you request us?

**Heartless Ghostie:** Yes…

**Deidara:** This'll be good…

**Heartless Ghostie:** Well I have a question for both Itachi and Deidara.

**Itachi:** Oh God…

**Heartless Ghostie: **So you think you possibly could get together with Sakura?

**Itachi:** Under certain circumstances… I might have been able to, yes…

**Heartless Ghostie: **Well, she could heal your eyes, and if you can't love her, than why not… Bond or something? You know, a possessive type of relationship where you're really fond of her, but kind of… In control.

**Itachi:** I am perfectly aware of Sakura's capabilities as a medic, and as a kunoichi in general. But as I stated before, finding any possible relationship with Sakura would prove fairly difficult as a member of Akatsuki.

**Heartless Ghostie:** What if you weren't?

**Itachi:** But I am. So that possibility is ultimately insignificant in decision. Ask Deidara his question.

**Heartless Ghostie: **Hm. Umm… Deidara… Do you give makeovers? You're hair rocks! I love it!

Itachi snorts with laughter and everyone stares at him

**Deidara:** …Um… Okay… Thanks I guess, yeah… But no, I don't believe I do, yeah… so… Yeah…

**Heartless Ghostie:** Okay well…

**Sasuke: **Itachi LAUGHED!

**Heartless Ghostie:** I have another question.

**Neji:** For WHO?

**Heartless Ghostie:** Sasuke… Did you notice Itachi is better than you in every way possible? Do you know why?

silence again

**Sasuke: **… I absolutely hate and despise each and every single one of you… Especially Itachi! And noooo… I DON'T know why he is supposedly BETTER than me at every little fucking thing. Okay? Happy? Fangirls suck…whether they're after you or not… Brothers suck, too… I hate them… ALL….

**Sakura:** But you only have one…

**Sasuke:** I doesn't MATTER!

**Naruto:** Dude, you're spazzing.. It's like we switched places….

**Kiba:** WOAH! THAT'S WEIRD!

**Neji:** Not really… Sasuke being around his brother and not being able to hurt him is obviously messing with his head.

**Sasuke:** Stupid Hyuga…

**ACD: **THANK YOU Heartless Ghostie! We love having you on the show!

**Heartless Ghostie:** I have a couple more questions…

**Neji:** Oh my GOD!

**Lee:** So many questions! You must be bursting with the energy of youth!

**Heartless Ghostie:** It's for Neji.

**Tenten:** Heheheh…

**ACD: **Sorry, Heartless Ghostie. The rule is that you only get three questions per… thingy… Sorry, but we might be able to answer them next time if you're still wondering. Next is from NarutoandItachi4ever.

Deidara and Sasuke snort with laugher as Itachi's eye twitches

**Deidara:** Nice name, yeah…

**Itachi:** I'm guessing the question is for me?

**NarutoandItachi4ever:** Yes… Itachi, if you were gay, would you go out with Naruto?

everyone either gags, laughs, or falls out of their chair

**Itachi:** ………………….

**Naruto:** ………… OH MY GOD!!! EW! EW! EW! NASTY! GROSS! YUCK! PUKE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

**Sakura:** That… is… wow…

**Sasuke:** PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE GAAYYY!!!! HAHAHAHA!

**Deidara:** Heh….heheh….heheheheh… HAHAHA!

**ACD:** Just answer the question, Itachi. Being gay isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a choice and opinion, and there's really nothing wrong with it…

**Itachi:** I… find it…difficult…to answer your question…

**Sasuke:** He finds it difficult to TELL THE TRUTH!

**Itachi:** …BECAUSE… I'm not gay… No, I'm not. As many people think I am… I'm not… Just… If I WERE? …I don't… I… Um… Ehhh…. Damn it…

**Sasuke:** HA! You're GAY!

**Itachi:** Foolish little brother. I'm sure there are more who think you are gay than people who think I am…

**Sakura:** Hm… We should take a survey…

**ACD:** I guess we should… Anyway… Does that answer your question?

**NarutoandItachi4ever:** Not really…. But to Naruto. You're stupid. Can't you see Hinata likes you?

**Naruto:** Really?

everyone hits they're heads on the desk except Itachi and Deidara

**Kurenai:** It's a good thing she's still fainted.

**Neji:** You. Idiot.

**Lee:** YOUTHFUL ROMAN-

**ACD:** You didn't have to hit him, Tenten.

**Tenten:** Sorry…

**Deidara:** What's going on?

**ACD:** Way too complicated. But thank you for pointing out that obvious fact to our naïve little friend here. Stupid… NEXT QUESTION! M.animaniac, you're up!

**M.animaniac:** Hey, Naruto, do you think you could beat Sasuke in a truth or dare contest.

**Naruto:** Phsst. Oh yeah. I could so beat stupid Sasuke over there! I'm not afraid to do anything!

**Sasuke:** I date you to throw away your ramen.

**Naruto:** You win.

**ACD: **Ooookaaayyy…. Next question?

**M.animaniac: **Tenten, you should really dye all the guys' hair pink!

silence

**Tenten:** …That's not a question… And I would never… Okay, maybe to Lee and Gai…

**Gai:** Of course not! DYE IT GREEN!

**Tenten:** YOU FREAK!

**ACD:** Next! Okay, go Angel Haruno Sakura!

**Sakura:** Huh…

**Angel Haruno Sakura:** Yeah… Well, my question was going to be the whole 'Itachi would you date Sakura thing'…

**Sasuke:** AGAIN????

**Itachi:** Hn… Well… I answered that… twice….

**Sakura:** People must think we're a good…couple… or something.

**ACD:** I DO!!!

**Itachi:** Really?

**Sakura:** Are you serious?

**Sasuke:** Traitor!!!!

**ACD:** Hypocrite. And yes really. Yes I am. Anyway…. Angel Haruno Sakura?

**Angel Haruno Sakura:** Oh…and Sasuke… How does that really make you feel?

**Sasuke:** HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK IT MAKES ME FEEL?

**Itachi:** Wow. You really are pathetic. You couldn't even win over a woman.

**Sasuke:** I could too!

**Sakura:** I feel…like a prize… Wow…

**ACD:** Let's move on shall we? The question section is over, but there is someone who is just dying to ask some questions!

**Neji:** Who? You???

**ACD:** Nope.

**Naruto:** Who?

**ACD:** I'm proud to present the first GUEST on Konoha Hotline: Shuiro Mistress!

**Shuiro Mistress:** Hello everyone.

**Naruto:** Umm….

**Neji:** Eh… She kinda looks like you.

**Lee:** The youthful passion of SIMILARITIES!!!!

**Tenten:** WHAT? THAT JUST SHOWS YOUR DESPERATE!

**Gai:** Good one Lee!

**Shuiro Mistress:** Well aren't you guys a bunch of idiots?

**Itachi:** ….no…

**Shuiro Mistress:** Except you. I heart you.

**Deidara:** FANGIRLS!

**Shuiro Mistress:** I heart you, too, Deidara!

**Deidara:** ….Sweet, yeah.

**ACD:** Well…. Shuiro Mistress is my sister! Hey Hinata woke up! You won Hinata!

Hinata faints again

**Shuiro Mistress:** Way to be.

**ACD:** ANYWAY! Shuiro Mistress has brought a little activity with her! First she has a couple questions, and then we'll start the game!

**Naruto:** A game?

**Jiraiya:** STRIP POKER!

**Tsunade:** SHUT UP! …but poker sounds nice.

**Itachi: **I don't do games…

**Sasuke:** No way.

**Kiba:** SWEET!

**Lee&Gai: **YES! THE POWER OF YOUTH!

**Tenten:** Freaks…

**Neji:** No thanks…

**Sakura&Ino:** Okay…

**Shuiro Mistress:** HEY! I have questions for you guys to answer first… And I know just who's nerves I'm going to get on!

**Sasuke: **Oh God! Not more of the Itachi/Sakura stuff!

**Shuiro Mistress:** Well, my first question IS for Kakashi, actually.

**Kakashi:** Really? That was unexpected.

**Shuiro Mistress: **I know.

**Kakashi:** I'm scared now…

**Shuiro Mistress: **Who among your students annoys you the most?

**Kakashi:** And I was worried.

Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto stare at Kakashi expectantly

**Kakashi:** That question is easy. Simple. Well you see… Sakura has always been a bit of whiner…

**Sakura:** HEY!

**Ino:** Haha!

**Kakashi:** …but she has improved and her current status as strong-hearted and strong-minded has really equaled out how annoying she was before. Sasuke was always harder to control.

**Sasuke&Naruto:** HUH?

**Kakashi: **Yes, actually, worse to handle than Naruto. I always had to keep an eye on him and he kept me up at night most of the time. But he's a magnificent shinobi and he really is a mini-me isn't he… So Naruto. He's basically an idiot, whether he's improved or not. I hold Naruto close to me, truly I do, but he gets on my nerves the most… Though it's actually close to being a tie between the arrogant avenger and determined moron. Does that answer your question?

**Naruto:** HEY!

**Sasuke:** I came close to a tie?

**Sakura: **Yay for me!

**Shuiro Mistress:** Yes, it does. Now for the Itachi/Sakura stuff…

**Sasuke:** NO!

**Sakura:** Oh boy.

**Itachi:** Does it ever end?

**Shuiro Mistress:** Well…before THAT, this question is an Itachi/Sasuke thing.

Sasuke and Itachi stare at her in slight confusion

**Sasuke:** Eh?

**Itachi:** Excuse me?

**Shuiro Mistress:** Are you aware of how many yaoi fanfictions there are involving you and your brother?

silence

**Itachi:** Yes…

**Sasuke:** WOAH! I WASN'T! SEE! HE'S GAY! WOAH, DUDE! DISGUSTING! How DO you know about those?

**Deidara:** Yeah… How DO you know, Itachi?

**Itachi:** …Kisame won't stop pestering me about them. He'll read them aloud… Sometimes he memorizes them and recites them on a mission. It's quite aggravating.

**Shuiro Mistress:** Ha! Okay… Now for Sakura…

**Sakura:** Me?

**Shuiro Mistress:** Sakura, seriously, which Uchiha is better looking?

**Sakura:** Itachi

**Sasuke:** WHAT THE HELL?

**Ino:** OH MY GOD!

**Tsunade:** Sakura! How dare you!

**Kakashi:** …Sakura….

**Naruto:** SHE'S GONE TO THE DARK SIDE!

**Deidara:** Cool…

Itachi chuckles

**Sakura:** Um… Well. Sasuke, get off. Look, I'm not saying I like him. I'm just saying… He looks better. His cheekbones are higher and his muscles are more defined. His hair is absolutely gorgeous and the red-eye thing is totally a turn-on to most girls. He's quieter and more mature, which makes his appearance even cooler, and…well… I just think he looks better than Sasuke.

**Sasuke:** HOW?

**Sakura:** I just told you how…

**ACD:** Don't worry. I think a lot of us agree.

**Sasuke:** HUH?

**Naruto:** Holy crap.

**Itachi:** Hmmmmm.

**Shuiro Mistress: **That's not the only question I have for Sakura. Now that you've finally come to realize how much of a jerk Sasuke is, are you going to give Itachi a chance?

**Sasuke:** Great. Now it's the other way around. Sakura gets to say whether or not she'd date Itachi. FANTASTIC!

**Sakura:** Well… I guess I kinda can't. Like he said, he's in Akatsuki… I'm very loyal as a kunoichi of Konoha and to Tsunade. I also wouldn't betray my friends and family for him, especially since I know he's so dangerous and as a past that isn't exactly one to be sure of in a relationship. He's unpredictable and not really stable, speaking mentally. He finds joy in torturing people and that's a little sickening to think about… So… I don't think I can, even if I wanted to.

**Shuiro Mistress:** Do you want to, though?

**Sakura: **Well…

**Sasuke:** Say no!

**Itachi:** ….

**Sakura:** I don't really think so. Before the show, I would have I immediately killed anyone who even suggested that… But now I can actually see that Itachi can be a civilized human being and has many detailed, intellectual thoughts and opinions on various topics. He's highly intelligent and can be quite charming, I can tell. If he weren't an S-class criminal, a member of Akatsuki, a traitor to Konoha, a mass murder, and a bit of psychopath… I guess I would.

**Sasuke:** BUT HE IS ALL THOSE THINGS, SO IT DOESN'T COUNT, RIGHT?

**Itachi:** It counts.

**Sasuke:** No!

**Itachi:** Yes.

**Sasuke:** No!

**Itachi:** Yes.

**Sasuke:** No!

**Itachi:** Yes.

**Sasuke:** No!

**Itachi: **Yes.

**Sasuke:** Why do you CARE?

everyone stares at Itachi who tilts his head to the side and smirks

**Itachi:** I find it amusing to see you cripple inside this much because of my doing.

**Sakura:** SEE! He's clearly unstable.

**Itachi:** Actually, my thoughts and opinions on whether or not someone dying his interesting or not isn't a sign of an unbalanced mind.

**Sakura:** And how do you figure that?

**Itachi:** Everyone has their different dislikes and likes, and I particularly LIKE watching people…die. It's not really my fault. It's the way I was born, and it's nearly the same as you like, or liked, Sasuke. I prefer watching people suffer, and specifically stronger and more confident ones, and especially those baring grudges.

**Sakura:** You call THAT normal?

**Itachi:** No. I don't. I just find that there is no particular reason to call me mentally unstable because I like…watching people suffer. I'm just…different.

**Shuiro Mistress:** He's unique!

**Itachi:** Precisely.

**Sakura:** I guess so…

**Sasuke:** Insane.

**Sakura:** You just hold a grudge and you're mad.

**Sasuke:** Duh.

**Shuiro Mistress:** NOW FOR MY GAME!!!

**Neji:** Which is?

**ACD&Shuiro Mistress:** TRUTH OR DARE!!!!!!!!

**Sasuke:** You're kidding.

**Naruto:** Oh..

**Sakura&Ino:** Cool.

**Deidara:** That's…weird..yeah.

**Itachi:** No thank you.

**ACD:** Well here we go. First, Shuiro Mistress will call on someone, and you say truth or dare…except you can't say truth.

**Deidara:** That ruins the entire thing.

**Lee:** SUCH A CHALLENGE! I ACCEPT!

**ACD:** I guess that's good, cuz you're not allowed to decline. Shuiro Mistress, go!

**Shuiro Mistress:** Neji, Deidara, and Itachi, I dare you to braid your hair!

**Sasuke:** HA!

**Itachi:** Nooooooo.

**Deidara:** Eh… No thanks, yeah.

**Tenten:** NO!

**Neji:** What they said… Except Sasuke. Forget about him.

**ACD:** That's no fun.

Itachi sighs and takes a little strand of his hair

**Deidara:** Dude…

**Neji:** Oh my God…

Itachi braids a tiny part of his hair

**Itachi:** There.

**Sasuke:** That doesn't count.

**Shuiro Mistress:** HAHA! Yes it does! That's adorable!

**Deidara:** Why do you know HOW to braid?

**Neji:** I'm not doing that! Hinata you're awake!

**Hinata:** W-w-what are w-we d-d-d-doing… I-Itachi's h-h-hair is…

**Itachi:** Yes… We're playing dare and do apparently.

**Hinata:** That's…heheh…

Itachi blinks as Hinata bursts into a giggle fit

**Neji:** I have to do it too.

Hinata goes wide-eyed and hides under her sleeves, staring at Neji

**Hinata:** Heheh…Neji… Really?

**Neji:** Yes…

Hinata bursts into laughter again

**Hinata:** OH! I-I'll do it f-f-for you N-N-Neji!

Hinata jumps up and starts braiding Neji's hair, who's face falls

**Tenten:** Oh God…

**Deidara:** No one touch me or I'll blow up your head…

**Itachi:** Hm.

Itachi pulls the braid out of his hair and straightens it with his fingers

**Shuiro Mistress:** Aw. Deidara!

**Deidara:** No!

**Shuiro Mistress:** Well Itachi and Neji looked absolutely adorable! OH MY GOD, NEJI!

**Tenten:** Oh my..

**Lee:** Uhh….

**Neji:** Please de-braid my hair, Hinata.

**Shuiro Mistress:** No, it's cute!

**Hinata:** B-but…N-Neji…

**Neji:** Hinata…

**Hinata:** Okay… N-Neji..

Hinata begins unbraiding Neji's hair

**Shuiro Mistress:** Well… My NEXT dare is better… Hinata, I dare you to eat ten pickles.

Hinata stops and stares at Shuiro Mistress with wide eyes

**Kiba:** Oh God…

**Shino:** No…

**Neji:** Please don't tell me…

**Hinata:** Pickles?

**Sakura:** Pickles… What's so special about a pickled cucumber?

**Kurenai:** I'm not sure this time… Hinata?

Hinata's eyes grow wider and she breaks into a wide grin

**Naruto:** Woah, that's creepy.

**Neji:** Please tell me she finished with… ya know… the hair thing…

**Tenten:** Yes… What's wrong with Hinata?

**ACD:** Oh my God, the rumors are true! I was right!

**Hinata:** Pickles?

**Ino:** What's with the pickle?

**Shikamaru: **I'm not sure… But she's starting to look like Naruto when he smells ramen… That's just a bit weird.

Hinata's eye twitches and she steps towards Shuiro Mistress

**Hinata:** Pickles…?

**Sasuke:** Um… Neji? What's wrong with your cousin?

**Neji:** Why pickles?

**Hinata:** PICKLES?

**Itachi:** Um… That's… Odd..

**Deidara:** Damn that's freaky!

**ACD:** Hinata? Are you okay?

**Hinata:** PICKLES!!!!!!!

**Shuiro Mistress:** Yeah, here. A jar of ten pickles.

Hinata's smile grows evil as she grabs the jar and runs off with them

**Neji:** Why pickles?

**Sasuke:** Uhhhhh.

**Sakura:** That was weird.

**ACD:** Anyway, you're next dare, sis?

**Shuiro Mistress:** I dare Kakashi to let Gai to give you a piggyback ride.

Kakashi's eyes grow wide and Gai grins

**Kakashi:** NO! WAY!

**Sakura:** That's a little… mean…

**Lee:** YES! DO IT! DO IT!

**Tenten:** SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

**Neji:** Eh… I'm now officially scared…

**Sasuke:** Ew.

**Naruto:** That's gross.

**Sakura:** Freaky! Oh my God!

**Kakashi:** PUT ME DOWN GAI! I'M PERFECTLY FINE! STOP RUNNING! STOP! PUT ME DOWN! GOD DAMN IT GAI! PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!

**Gai:** I'll win!

**ACD:** Win…what…?

**Shuiro Mistress:** Not sure… But for my next dare, I dare Neji to sing a Hannah Montana song.

everyone goes deathly silent as Neji's eyes grow wide

**Tenten:** No way…

**Lee:** SING NEJI! SING WITH ALL THE YOUTHFUL POWER YOU CAN MUSTER!

**Neji:** NO! I AM NOT SINGING AND I WILL NOT SHOW ANY DISPLAY OF YOUR STUPID, IDIOTIC, RETARD, GAY YOUTH! I HATE IT AND I HATE YOU AND YOU NEED TO SHUT UP! I AM NOT SINGING, ESPECIALLY A HANNAH MONTANA SONG! LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU MADE ME BRAID MY FUCKING HAIR SO JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT OKAY? OH MY GOD! I'M BECOMING FUCKING PARANOID!!!

**Tenten:** Geez, Neji… Let it all out much…

**Sakura:** That was scary…

**Sasuke:** Uhhh… Weird…

**ACD:** How about we pick… a JESSE MCCARTNEY SONG?

**Neji:** NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Lee:** I LOVE JESSE MCCARTNEY!!!!

everyone stares at Lee

**Sakura:** Like I said before… you're weird…

**Shuiro Mistress:** Well fine. At least make Jiraiya tell Kakashi the ending to Icha Icha Paradise! That's probably the best one!

**Kakashi:** NO!!!

Kakashi leaps off Gai's back and runs away, plugging his ears and screaming

**Shuiro Mistress:** Awww….

**ACD:** That was…

**Sakura:** Weird.

**Naruto:** Strange.

**Sasuke:** I hate him, too.

**Itachi:** I'm surrounded by idiots…

**ACD:** Anyway! My sis is going to help with the first drawing of our contest.

**Naruto:** YAY! MORE CONTESTS!

**ACD:** Hush. Yes. _Shinobi Hotline Contest #3: Best Ninja Couple_! And sorry, no Yaoi or Yuri. Sorry, again! No offense!

**Sasuke:** Oh. My. GOD!

**Sakura:** This isn't going to be good.

**Ino:** I'll get Sasuke!

**Sakura:** No one cares.

**Ino:** …Still getting used to that.

**ACD:** All right, Shuiro Mistress, pick a guy name from this hat and a girl name from this one.

**Shuiro Mistress:** Okay, the guy is… Itachi Uchiha… and the girl is…

Shuiro Mistress bursts into giggles

**Sakura:** I have a feeling…

**Sasuke:** You're kidding, right? Please…

**ACD:** Oh I love that pairing! And apparently everyone else does too!

**Shuiro Mistress:** Yep! Sakura Haruno!

Sasuke sweat drops

**Sasuke:** I don't know where I am anymore… And I'm scared. I'm confused… and I'm angry.

**Sakura:** I'm worried…

**ACD:** Well… anything anyone else wants to say?

**Naruto:** Nobody pick that one!

**Deidara:** No pick it. It's funny.

**Lee:** DON'T! DON'T! DON'T!

**Tenten:** I think we all vote no… except Deidara.

**Itachi:** ….

**Shuiro Mistress:** Itachi?

Itachi: Hm? 

**Shuiro Mistress:** Want to say anything?

**Itachi:** Not really. I find no problem in this situation.

everyone stares at Itachi

**ACD:** Okay, Lee, pick a couple.

**Lee:** Well… This one says Gai…

everyone steps away

**Lee:** GO GAI-SENSEI!!! Oh, and this one says Kurenai…

**Kurenai:** No. Body. Dare. Pick. That. I will personally kill you. Five times. And then burn you. And then…

**ACD:** OKAY!Sasuke, pick one.

**Sasuke:** No.

**ACD:** Do it. Or I'll vote for Itachi and Sakura.

**Sasuke:** It says…Kakashi… and Temari… Temari's note here.

**ACD:** Well, I was annoyed because there weren't any requests, so I sent a personal invitation to Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari.

**Sasuke:** Oh…

**Naruto:** COOL!

**Shikamaru:** Oh God. Let's hope Temari's not mad at me.

**ACD:** Next one. Asuma, pick.

**Asuma:** Oh… This.. Heheh…. Ha. Hahahahahahaha… Sorry.. Choji, I think you'll like this one.

**Shikamaru:** Wwwhhhhyyy?

**Asuma:** Well, these two are Shikamaru and Ino.

**Ino:** OH MY GOD!!!! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

**Shikamaru:** Holy. Fucking. Shit. That's. Not. Good.

**Sakura:** HA! That's funny!

**ACD:** Okay, well then…_ Contestant #1:_ Itachi Uchiha and Sakura Haruno. _Contestant #2:_ Maito Gai and Kurenai Yuhi. _Contestant #3:_ Kakashi Hatake and Temari. _Contestant #3:_ Shikamaru Nara and Ino Yamanaka. NEXT!

**Naruto:** I'll pick one! This is Neji!

**Neji:** Oh God, this won't be good….

**Naruto:** Um… No.. It's… Not…

**Neji:** What?

**Tenten:** Tell me! What is it?

**ACD:** I need to know.

**Naruto:** Well… It's a good thing Hinata isn't in here, or she'd faint again…

Neji faints

**Tenten:** It's… HINATA???

**Naruto:** Yeah… Um.. Is he okay?

**ACD:** _Contestant #4:_ Neji Hyuga and Hinata Hyuga… That's pretty weird. Anyway. Somebody wake Neji up. Next!

**Kiba:** Here. This is Lee…again… and this one's Tenten.

**Tenten:** WHAT?

Neji gets up, laughing

**Lee:** Uh… Um… Eh…

**ACD:** Well, THAT shut you up. _Contestant #5: _Rock Lee and Tenten. Shizune, pick one.

**Shizune:** It says Jiraiya…

**Jiraiya:** BRING ON THE LADIES!

**Shizune:** …And this is Tsunade.

**Tsunade:** WHAT? NO! PICK ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!

**ACD:** No, _Contestant #6: _Jiraiya and Tsunade.

**Jiraiya:** Oh come on! You said no Yaoi, though!

Tsunade punches Jiraiya through the wall

**ACD:** Well, no need to get violent.

**Sakura:** Um… There aren't any more girls left…

**ACD:** Yes there is. We still have Naruto.

**Naruto:** HEY!

**ACD:** Kidding… You're right though…

**Shizune:** I feel…hated…

**ACD:** Oh I'm sorry!

**Sakura:** My bad, Shizune.

**Shizune:** Yeah… So who am I paired with?

ACD picks a name from the boy's basket

**ACD:** Looks like you're stuck with Kankuro.

**Shizune:** Who?

**Tsunade:** The Kazekage's older brother…

**Shizune:** Oh… Okay…

**ACD:** _Contestant #7: _Kankuro and Shizune! That's all! Remember to review and vote for your favorite pairings out of the ones chosen. Request anybody you like and make sure to ask our ninjas some questions!!! See ya next time!

**Shuiro Mistress:** And it was good to be on the show!

**Neji:** Where's Hinata?

**Naruto:** I don't know… And Kakashi…?

**ACD&Shuiro Mistress:** BYE!!!!


	4. Broadcast: 4

**ACD:** Yo, what it is my amazing reviewers? We are BACK! I know. I think I waited a REALLY long time, but who cares? We're here now and everyone's excited! We have been joined by three new guests! Introduce yourselves you guys!

**Temari:** 'Sup?

**Kankuro: **Hey.

**Gaara: **…

**ACD:** Must you always be so emo?

**Gaara:** …

**ACD:** -sighs- Whatever. Anyway, I'm going to go ahead and give you all the contest results! Oh, and heheh…my bad, but I think we actually had eight contestants last time. That was a big mistake, but whatever!

**Sasuke: **Stupid.

**Sakura:** Stop being mean, Sasuke.

**Naruto:** For real. Your ugly face probably confused her.

**Sasuke:** I'M SERIOUSLY GOING TO KILL YOU!

-ACD hits Sasuke on the head with an umbrella-

**ACD:** Bad little chicken! No killing!

**Itachi:** Ha.

**Sasuke:** -snarls-

-everyone stares at him-

**ACD:** Okaaaay. So Sasuke's got rabies. Tsunade, make sure you check him out for that.

**Tsunade:** We've already got him on the best medication we've got.

**Sakura:** Seriously.

**Sasuke:** Nu-uh.

**Shizune:** We follow you around and spike your food.

**Naruto:** I helped!

**Deidara:** What a loser.

**Itachi:** Really…

**Sasuke:** WHAT THE HELL?

**ACD:** Well then. That's interesting. Anyway, to get on with things, we have our contest results.

**Kiba: **That are fucked up 'cause you messed up big time.

**ACD:** Honestly, it's no big deal. We just have eight contestants instead of seven. Okay…well, the last place winner is good.

**Neji: **-crossing fingers- Please…please…please…

**Kurenai: **Sorry, Hyuga, but if this isn't me, I'm seriously killing someone.

**ACD:** No. Bad. No killing. Anyway, the last place winner IS _Contestant #5:_ Neji Hyuga and Hinata Hyuga with no votes.

-Hinata and Neji exhale in relief-

**Kurenai: **WHAT???

**Tsunade:** Damn. Chill out.

**Kakashi:** I think you're overreacting.

**Kurenai: **Oh really? And what would you be doing, HMMMM?

-everyone pauses and thinks-

**ACD:** Yeah, I think we all agree with ya there, Kurenai.

**Tsunade:** Well, I got Jiraiya. Eeck.

**ACD: **Okay…seventh place is _Contestant #3_: Kakashi Hatake and Temari Sabaku with four votes. Huh…what a weird pairing.

**Temari:** Not bad. I like older guys.

**Kakashi:** Uh…heheheh…sure.

**Sakura:** Er…Temari, you know he's a major perv, right?

**Temari:** Uh-huh. Nothin' wrong with that.

-Sasuke gags-

**Naruto:** That's GROSS!!!

**Ino: **Get it, Temari.

**Sakura: **No, don't encourage her!

**ACD:** In sixth place is _Contestant #8:_ Kankuro and Shizune with five votes.

**Shizune:** Um… -glances at Kankuro- I don't even know him.

**Kankuro: **-shrugs- She's pretty hot.

-Temari hits him on the head-

**Gaara: **Idiot.

**ACD:** Mkay. Well, in fifth place, we have _Contestant #6: _Rock Lee and Tenten. They got six votes.

**Tenten:** Okay, who the hell voted for us, because you seriously need to see Tsunade or something.

**Lee:** Only six votes?

**Neji: **How many did you expect?

**Lee:** -tears up- OH, HOW DISAPPOINTING, THE YOUTHFUL FIRE OF OUR VIEWERS IS FADING!!!

**ACD:** Eh, not really, 'cause in fourth place in _Contestant #7: _Jiraiya and Tsunade with, like, thirteen votes.

**Tsunade: **Fourth out of eighth? Um…you people DO realize that we're both over fifty years old right?

**Jiraiya: **The youngsters like watching elderly porn.

-everyone stares at him in disgust-

**ACD:** I think I need to puke.

**Sakura: **OH MY GOD!!! MENTAL IMAGES! INO, MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!

**Ino: **-starts screaming hysterically- HOLY SHIT! THEY'RE CONTAIGOUS, SAKURA!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!

**Sasuke:** Oh. My. God.

**Itachi: **For once, little brother, I think I just might agree with that very accurate statement.

**Naruto:** Dude, I'm right behind ACD! Where's a bucket or something?

-Kiba grabs Gaara's gourd and pukes in it-

**Temari:** Uh…

**Naruto:** That's not what I meant.

**Gaara: **-eyes go wide- I will kill you.

**ACD:** Eh…just wash it out. ANYWAY, as gross as that was, let's move on shall we? In third place is _Contestant #4: _Shikamaru Nara and Ino Yamanaka!

**Sakura:** Finally, a pairing that makes sense!

**Ino:** How does THAT make sense?

**Temari: **Hm…I agree.

**Kankuro: **Everyone knows you're just jealous.

**Temari: **Of the bottle blonde slut? No way.

**Ino: **WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME??????

**ACD:** I SAID NO KILLING!

**Shikamaru: **Ino, put the knife DOWN! Just ignore her! She's not worth it!

**Temari:** Oh, I'm NOT?

**Ino: **You tell her, Shika! –sticks her tongue out at Temari-

**Shikamaru: **-sweat drops- Uh…

**Sakura: **Does this mean Ino and I aren't rivals anymore?

**Hinata:** I-I t-th-think s-s-s-so.

**Naruto: **Good job.

**ACD:** Hm…well, we're gonna sort that out later. In second place…wow. This time, the winner was…

**Kurenai: **I did NOT win!

**ACD:** No… _Contestant #2: _Maito Gai and Kurenai Yuhi came in second place with thirty-three votes.

**Kurenai: **THAT MANY?

**Gai:** I BEAT KAKASHI!!!! THE SCORE IS EVEN ONCE AGAIN, YOUTHFUL RIVAL!!

**Kakashi:** -smiles and continues reading- That's nice.

**Gai:** DAMN YOU!

**Sasuke: **Does…does that mean…??? Oh no. NOOO!!! What is the world coming to?

**Naruto:** IT CAN'T BE!!! FANS SUCK!!!

**Sakura: **Cool, I won a contest. Neat.

**Itachi: **Not a surprise…though I should've won last time, too.

**Hinata: **-turns red- S-s-s-s-sorry…

**Deidara:** Haha.

**ACD:** Holy shit.

**Everyone: **What?

**ACD: **The winner of the contest, _Contestant #1: _Itachi Uchiha and Sakura Haruno, won with…DAMN!!!

**Sasuke:** TELL ME!

**ACD: **Three-hundred fifty-nine votes.

-everyone is silent-

**Sakura: **…

**Itachi:** …

**Naruto:** …

**Sasuke: **-twitches and smiles insanely and squeaks- Three hundred…fifty…nine?

**ACD:** Uh…yeah…

**Sakura: **Sasuke…are you okay?

**Sasuke:** -gives a shaky laugh- Yeah… I'm…fine… - begins to laugh uncontrollably-

**Ino:** Um. I think I'm over him now.

**Itachi: **I think I pushed him a little too far.

**Deidara:** Oh, he's long gone now, yeah.

**ACD:** Er…Sasuke…? Um, okay. So…we actually DID have some requests this time. Our first new member of the show…everyone welcome Hanabi Hyuga!!!

**Hinata&Neji: **HANABI?

-Hanabi walks in to an applause-

**Hanabi: **Hi, everyone. Hinata, Neji, stop looking so stunned. Everyone, I'm happy to be on. I really love listening, so now I'm glad to be a part of Hotline Konoha.

**Sakura: **Aw, you seem sweet.

**Sasuke: **-snarls again suspiciously- Hyuga…

**Hanabi: **Isn't that Sasuke Uchiha?

**Itachi:** We're not so sure anymore.

**Naruto: **Yeah, we've dubbed him mentally insane.

**ACD:** But that's not all!

**Kiba: **Who else did someone ask to come on? Akamaru???

**ACD:** Kiba…Akamaru can't talk.

**Kiba: **He's learning! You just have to squint one eye really hard when he says something, and it's not so hard to understand him!

**Hinata: **K-K-Kiba?

**Shino: **You're stupid.

**Kiba: **BUG NERD!

**Shino: **Dog breath.

**Kiba: **EMO POSER!

**Shino: **Stupid mutt.

**ACD:** Everyone say hi to Orochimaru!!!

-Orochimaru walks in to silence-

**Tsunade: **WHAT THE FUCK? ARREST HIM!

**Jiraiya:** Naruto, get ready to do the jutsu I taught you last week!

**Naruto:** Okay, Jiraiya-sensei!

**Sakura&Ino: **Eeeeeewwww. Look at his clothes.

**Itachi:** Oh dear God…

**Deidara:** Isn't he that guy who tried to rape Itachi when they were younger?

**Kakashi:** Damn, now I can't read Icha Icha…

**Kiba: **Who's he?

**Neji: **Hinata, get back.

**Hinata: **O-okay.

**Kurenai: **Asuma, are you ready?

**Asuma:** Oh yeah.

**Gaara:** …What's the big deal?

**Temari:** Well, ain't he creepy?

**Kankuro: **Oh yeah, didn't he kill Dad?

**Hanabi:** How strange.

**Sasuke:** -pokes head out from under table- Master?

**Sakura: **-looks at Sasuke- Master? Really?

**Kakashi: **Uh…Sasuke…

**Naruto: **Okay…he's really NOT okay.

**-**Sasuke crawls over to Orochimaru and clings to his waist-

**Sasuke:** Master, they're being mean to me.

**-**ACD bursts out laughing-

**Itachi: **…Sasuke?

**Orochimaru:** -pets Sasuke's head- It's quite alright now, Sasuke. Together we'll become stronger then all of them and then they won't be so mean. Of course…I'll need your body first.

-Sasuke squishes face into his stomach-

**Sasuke: **-muffled voice- Mkay.

**ACD:** No, bad snake pedophile! –hits Orochimaru with the umbrella- No body switching!

**Orochimaru: **Damn…

**Sakura: **Orochimaru…

**Ino:** …in Sasuke's body…?

**Sakura&Ino: **Ewwwwwwwwww.

**ACD:** Okay, well, we have a lot to do today, so let's get on with it, shall we? First up, we have Shirotora chan with three questions. What do you want to ask, Shirotora chan?

**Shirotora chan:** I'm so excited! Um, okay. First, I want to ask Tenten something about Akatsuki.

**Tenten: **Uh…alright.

**Itachi: **-leans over to Deidara and whispers- Who's she?

**Deidara:** -whispers back- Not sure. Think she fought Kisame.

**Shirotora chan: **If you had to go to the Dark Side…er, Akatsuki, which guy would you probably prefer?

**Tenten:** Um…well, I've only met three, so I'm not sure. Deidara's too pyro for me, that fish guy-

**Itachi&Deidara: **Kisame.

**Tenten:** -is well…fishy. So, of the guys I've met, probably Itachi.

**Sakura: **Huh… Funny how Itachi's the most like Neji.

-Neji raises an eyebrow-

**Tenten:** -blushes- That's not what I meant.

**Shirotora chan:** Okay! Um…now, which weapon of yours is your favorite and why? Gosh, I just adore you!

**Lee:** Yeah, GO TENTEN!

**Neji: **Wow, Tenten's got a fan.

**Temari: **-snorts- How surprising.

**Sakura:** -looks at Temari- You're a major bitch, aren't you?

**Temari: **WHAT?

**Tenten:** MY ANSWER…would probably be… Wow, there are so many, I don't know if I CAN pick. Well, my ninja wire usually comes in handy because it helps me control my weapons after I launch them…but then again, explosive tags are REALLY useful to an unsuspecting opponent. Hm…actually, I'd have to say I really like my Kusari-Gama. You know, the sickle and chain I use to trap my enemy and then slice them up. It's one of the weapons that's easiest to use since your moves don't have to be TOO precise and it's long range. There's not much one can do to dodge that kind of an attack.

**Neji:** That's certainly true.

**Lee: **-flinches- I would know.

**Shirotora chan: **Cool! And, my last question is for Itachi. What do you think about Sasuke's emo-ness?

-there's a silent pause-

**Itachi: **I think it's great. I DID create it.

**Deidara: **-nods- A beautiful thing, Itachi, yeah.

**Itachi:** Hn.

**Sasuke: **-points and looks up at Orochimaru- SEE! They're so mean!

**Orochimaru:** -smiles weirdly and pats Sasuke's head affectionately- Don't worry, my little student. We'll defeat them soon enough.

**ACD:** I SAID NO KILLING, DAMN IT! –hits Orochimaru on the head again- Anyway, next we have Kyubi-Nemu. Whatcha wanna asks, Kyubi? I know you have a lot of questions, but only pick three for now!

**Kyubi-Nemu:** Well, I was wondering if Itachi had ever taken Sasuke trick or treating.

-silence-

**Itachi:** -sighs- No. We tried, but Sasuke hates sweets.

**Sasuke:** Sugar is evil! –looks up at Orochimaru- Can I have a tomato?

**Sakura:** You do realize tomatoes are sweet, right?

**Sasuke: **Nu-uh! –takes tomato and starts chewing on it-

**ACD:** Uh… I'm really worried now.

**Orochimaru:** He'll be even more easy to control now!

**Itachi: **No. You taking over my brother's body was NOT a part of my plan.

**Kyubi-Nemu:** Huh. Okay. My next question is for Deidara. You and Ino are related, right?

**Deidara: **Who's Ino, yeah?

**Ino:** Hey! I'm right here!

-stares at her for a second-

**Deidara: **Nope. Why would anyone think that?

-everyone sweat drops-

**Itachi:** You look just alike.

**Deidara: **No way. Her forehead is way too big, yeah.

**Sakura: **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Ino:** Are you fucking kidding me?

**Deidara: **-shrugs- Whatever.

**Kyubi-Nemu:**__Wow. You guys are really funny. Anyway, so Ino, have you ever snuck into Sasuke's house to steal clothes and stuff?

**Ino:** -goes wide-eyed- No…

**Sasuke:** Stalkers!

**Orochimaru:** Sh… -strokes Sasuke's hair, making his eyes twitch- It's okay, little one.

**Itachi:** Doesn't that freak you out, Sasuke?

**Sasuke:** -tightens hold- Master loves me… He'll protect me now…

**Itachi:** Shit…

**Ino:** Hehehe…so ANYWAY. Do you have another question?

**Kyubi-Nemu:** Well, that WAS my third one, but I just wanted to tell Sasuke that I don't hate him. Actually, I don't hate either Uchiha. So why don't the two of you sit in a corner and tell some stories.

**Sasuke:** Itachi evil.

**Orochimaru:** Yes, hate the evil older brother.

**Itachi:** Eh…

**ACD:** Next we have Dark-Alora again. What's up?

**Dark-Alora:** Hey guys! It's me again! So, to both Gaara and Kankuro, if you HAD to pick a girl to date, who would it be?

**Gaara: **…

**Kankuro:** Hm…well, Tsunade's got some super huge-

-Tsunade hits him in the face with a frying pan-

**Tsunade:** Stupid little pervert!

**Kankuro:** Ow!! Never mind. Um…I don't know. Sakura's got too much of a temper and Temari's my sister. Ino's really hot. She'd probably date me.

**Temari:** She'd probably date anything.

**Ino:** One more word from you, and I WILL EAT YOU!

**Gaara: **Hinata.

-everyone stops and stares-

**Temari:** The Hyuga girl?

-Gaara nods-

**Hinata:** O-o-o-oh… -turns red- U-u-um…t-thank y-y-y-you…

**Neji: **Why?

**Gaara:** She's quiet and obedient. She doesn't give me a headache.

**Naruto:** Weird.

**Sakura: **Aw, that's a cute couple!

**ACD:** I wrote a fanfiction for you two once.

-Hinata hides her face-

**Gaara:** …

**Temari: **Aw…

**Dark-Alora: **Oh, okay. That's a good answer, I suppose. So, the same question to Sakura now, except with guys, of course.

**Naruto:** Does EVERYONE have to ask you something about a guy?

**Sakura:** Geez! Look, to everyone who wants to ask, I seriously DON'T KNOW. I've liked Sasuke for years and I honestly don't know Itachi. Yeah, he's hot and all, so I might date him, but who knows? It'd be a tie…between…Sasuke, Itachi, Naruto, and…Kakashi.

**Everyone except Naruto, Sasuke, and Itachi:** WHAAAAAAAT?

**Kakashi: **-sputters- Sakura! That's inappropriate.

**Sakura: **-shrugs- So?

**Naruto:** You would date me?

**Sakura:** -shrugs again- Maybe.

**Itachi:** Well, I'm not too surprised.

**Sakura: **Well duh.

**Sasuke:** You…you still like me?

**Sakura:** -nods- Well, YEAH. I mean, you've always been a jerk, and I feel really bad for what we've done to you. I still like you a lot, Sasuke. I've always been one for the bad boy, and you're still the number one asshole. Well…if you stopped hugging Orochimaru you might be…

**Sasuke:** -blinks and lets go of Orochimaru- Eh…right…

**Orochimaru: **Damn…

**Naruto:** Gaaaaaaayyyyy.

**ACD:** Actually, we have NarutoandItachi4ever with a question that's similar to that!

**NarutoandItachi4ever: **Yeah, really! Why'd you go with Orochimaru! I mean, you DO know he's gay right!

**Sasuke:** -scoots away from Orochimaru- Well, um, he promised me power. I wanted power, so…I went with him. It's not like he molested me or anything…

**Itachi: **Yet.

**Sakura:** Well, it's good to know you're getting back to normal.

**Sasuke: **Yeah…I'm not so sure why I was acting like that.

**Tsunade:** -looking at a bottle- Oh, oops. That was my fault. I spiked your food with sake, not medicine. Sorry, Sasuke.

-Sasuke hits head on table-

**NarutoandItachi4ever: **And now for Naruto, why do you like Sakura if she's always so mean to you?

**Sakura: **He deserves it.

**Naruto: **-smiles- She's not THAT mean. And she's really hot when she gets mad. She's a really good ninja and stuff and she's super pretty… I don't know. I can't help it.

**NarutoandItachi4ever:** Well, okay. And Itachi, is Tobi really your cousin, Obito?

**Itachi: **No. He DOES have a secret identity-

**Orochimaru:** Madara.

**Itachi:** But no one knows it.

**Kakashi: **I miss Obito.

**Tsunade:** -pats Kakashi on the back- He was a brave soul, an awful lot like Naruto.

**Naruto:** Ha! Hear that, Sasuke! I'm brave!

**Kiba:** Yahoo! Go Naruto.

**Sasuke:** Well, I'm like Kakashi.

**Naruto:** Crap…that DOES sound better.

**Sakura:** Who am I like then?

**Kakashi: **Rin. She was the female medic on my team. She liked me, too.

**ACD:** Weird.

**NarutoandItachi4ever: **Now, I have some dares. Is that okay?

**ACD:** Sure.

**NarutoandItachi4ever: **Okay, so I want Naruto to kiss Hinata, Itachi to slap Deidara, and Sasuke needs to jump down a hole and never come back.

**Sakura: **Aw. And we were just getting his self esteem back, too.

**Sasuke: **Well, now I'm normal again, so I personally don't give a fuck. –sits down and closes eyes-

**Naruto:** Very mature.

**Neji: **-sighs- Hinata fainted again.

**Kiba: **-squirms- Yeah, I don't think Naruto should kiss Hinata either. She might have a…heart attack or something.

**Shino:** Jealous.

**Kiba: **Am not!

-Itachi turns and slaps Deidara-

**Itachi:** I win.

**ACD:** Wow.

-Deidara stares at him in shock-

**Deidara:** …ow.

**ACD:** So who's next?

**XOXOSilentListenerXOXO:** Me! Sakura, I dare you to date Itachi! And NO ONE, especially not Sasuke, can interfere!

**Sakura: **Eh…can I just go on, like, one date with him or something?

**Itachi: **That'd be rather awkward, don't you think?

**XOXOSilentListenerXOXO:** No.

**ACD:** You gotta do it.

**Sakura:** Well, okay.

**Sasuke: **Phfft. Stupid fangirls.

**Itachi: **Hm…I haven't been on a date since I was…a kid…

**Sakura:** Yeah. Awkward.

**XOXOSilentListenerXOXO: **Now Tsunade has to make out with Jiraiya!

**Jiraiya: **Sweet!

**Tsunade: **Um…I just got an important call…I'll be back in a few…uh…years.

-Tsunade runs out-

**Jiraiya:** COME BACK!!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!!!

-chases her out of the room-

**Shizune:** -sighs- Poor Tsunade.

**Sakura: **For real.

**Naruto:** Ew, but Tsunade is so old!

**Kakashi: **So is Jiraiya, though.

**Sasuke: **Everything makes sense again.

**Orochimaru: **Never be like them, apprentice. They are WEAK.

**Sasuke: **Hm….'kay. It won't be hard.

**ACD:** Are you all done?

**XOXOSilentListenerXOXO:** Oh no! In the next broadcast, after your date, Sakura has to say whether or not she'd want to stay with Itachi if Tsunade would let her. And Itachi has to say whether or not he agrees with her opinion.

**Sakura: **Er…okay. I'm glad Tsunade isn't here to hear that now.

**Itachi:** -sighs- Alright.

**ACD:** Wow. I hope this doesn't become too dramatic. Bye XOXOSilentListenerXOXO! 5ug4r4L0v3, who has formally been known as Heartless Ghostie, doesn't have any questions or dares, but I think she has a little something to say.

**5ug4r4L0v3:** Yeah, all you ninja are WAY too loyal to your country. Sakura and Itachi REALLY need to get together! Have fun on your date!

**Sasuke: **Really? Does everyone HAVE to say that?

**Naruto:** -sulks- Apparently.

**Sakura:** -smiles- Mkay.

**Itachi:** Well, I'M not loyal to a country.

**Deidara: **You're loyal to Akatsuki.

**Itachi:** Well, I'll die if I betray them, so I think I'll stick with Akatsuki.

**Deidara:** This is true.

**ACD:** Okay, and last but not least, we have Shuiro Ecstasy, who was on here last time as Shuiro Mistress, my sister!

**Shuiro Ecstasy: **Hello, people! Now, since I'm her sister, I get to ask more questions and make more dares! I'm SPECIAL.

**ACD:** Whatever. Hurry up.

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** My first question is for Itachi.

**Itachi:** -sighs- YES, I'll be going on a date with Sakura after the show is over. You don't have to say it-

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** No, it's about Kisame.

-everyone gets quiet and wide-eyed-

**Itachi:** -gives her a suspicious look- Okaaaay….

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** I've heard rumors that he takes you out to clubs. Is that true?

-silence-

**ACD:** Wow.

**Itachi:** Uhh….. Who told you that?

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Inside sources, now answer the question before I set my jelly bean army on you.

**Itachi:** Well…um…

**Sasuke: **-goes wide-eyed- Are you SERIOUS?

**Deidara: **…I think I just lost respect for you, yeah.

**Itachi:** Kisame is a very…needy person. When we stay in a town for a night, he drags me along to bars and clubs and such. It's nothing I do voluntarily.

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** So it IS true….. COOL. Can you dance for us?

**ACD:** Hell yeah! Good question, sis!

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** I know.

**Itachi:** Eh…I don't think so.

**ACD:** Damn…

**Shuiro Ecstasy: **Oh, come on! PLEEEEAAAASSSEE?

**Itachi: **-flinches- No.

**Sasuke: **Please don't.

**Sakura: **I say go for it.

**Ino: **I AGREE!!!

**Lee:** SAY YES TO YOUTHFUL DANCING!!!!!!!

-everyone stares at Lee-

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Uh…never mind. Don't worry. I'll get him to do it later so I can record it.

**ACD:** -nods- Okay.

**Itachi:** Wait, what?

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Now can I hug you?

**Itachi:** Huh?

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Yay!

-Shuiro Ecstasy hugs Itachi-

**Sasuke:** -glares- I. Hate. Fangirls.

**Orochimaru:** Yes…hate is good… Lucky girl.

**Gai:** HOORAY FOR YOUTH!!!

**Lee:** I LOVE HUGS!!! HUG MY GAI-SENSEI!!!!

**Sakura: **Um…isn't he MY date?

**Naruto: **Forget him! Date me!

**Ino: **Wow. Now I'm starting to like Itachi, too.

**Shikamaru: **Greeeaaat. More Uchihas for you to whine about.

**Choji:** Shuiro Ecstasy's hot. Who has some chips?

**Neji:** This is weird.

**Hinata:** How odd…

**Kiba:** You're awake!!!

**Shino:** And you didn't stutter…

**Kurenai: **At least she's growing up.

**Asuma:** I hate Akatsuki.

**Kakashi:** If only Jiraiya were still here. This would make a great book.

**Hanabi: **I think ITACHI'S hot. I want him.

**ACD:** Back off!!! What are you, twelve?

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** I'm done! So, my final question is to Shino. Do you realize you are, like, awesomely cool?

**Shino:** …

**Kiba: **HUH??????

**Hinata: **Aw…g-good j-j-job, S-Shino…

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Yeah, you're just about as cool as Itachi…except he has better hair, voice, age, and eyes…since, you know, I can't see yours. Which brings me to my first dare! Shino! I dare you to reveal your face!

**Shino:** Okay.

-Shino takes off glasses and pulls down collar-

**Sakura: **What the HECK?

**Kurenai:** My, my, Shino.

**Ino:** He's HOT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

**Hinata: **-blushes- W-wow…

**Hanabi: **THAT'S my sister's TEAMMATE???? Lucky!!!

**Kiba: **Holy shit! NO!!!!

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** That was easy.

**Shino: **Well, there isn't much of a reason for me to tell you no.

-puts glasses and collar back on-

**ACD:** Daaaamn. So what's next, sis?

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Lee needs to tell Gai he hates him.

-Lee chokes and faints-

**ACD:** Saw that coming.

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Crap. You ninja are weird. Now Neji has to put on Lee's jumpsuit. You KNOW they have a spare.

**Neji: **Never.

**Shuiro Ecstasy: **Yes.

**Neji:** No.

**Shuiro Ecstasy: **Yes.

**Neji:** No.

**Shuiro Ecstasy: **Yes.

**Neji:** No.

**Shuiro Ecstasy: **Yes.

**Neji:** No.

**Hinata&Tenten:** Yes.

**Neji:** What???

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Ha! Overruled! Take him away!!!

**Gai: **I'm so PROUD!!! Here you go, Neji! I always liked you better anyway.

-hands Neji the jumpsuit-

**Neji:** Ohhhh, NO!

**Hinata:** I ORDER you to, Neji.

-everyone stares-

**Neji:** WHAT???

**Hanabi: **-nods- Or we'll call our dad!

**Neji:** You two are EVIL!!!

-the jumpsuit magically appears on Neji-

**Neji:** What the FUCK?

**Hinata:** -bursts out laughing with Hanabi- You look so silly, Neji!

**Hanabi:** We should braid his hair, too!

**Neji:** NO! How did that happen!?!?!?!?!?

**ACD:** It's a fanfiction dude. And I'm the writer. Here, I got some major skill. Anything can happen.

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** -stops laughing- Wow. Good job, ACD. Now, I'm gonna tell Naruto to entrust all his ramen to Hinata. And Hinata has to give all her pickles to Naruto. You seriously had me scared last time.

**Hinata:** -stops laughing and goes completely serious- What?

**Kiba: **Holy shit, Hinata's MAD!!!

**Shino:** …I think we should hide.

**Naruto: **No way! How will I eat it???

**Hinata:** -wide eyed- No.

**ACD:** Do it before I make you!

-Hinata starts screaming-

**Neji:** -plugs ears- Take it back!

**Hanabi:** Jeez, Hinata, just give up the pickles!

**Hinata:** -stops and turns slowly to Hanabi- What?

**Hanabi:** Uh…never…mind?

**Hinata:** NEVER!!! –runs out-

**Naruto:** What is WITH her?

**ACD:** Well, I guess THAT didn't work, either.

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Okay, now SHE needs some medication. Or the looney bin.

**Sasuke:** Do you have any more dares? Please don't tell me ones for me…

**Kiba:** Yeah. You're scary.

**Temari: **For real.

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Well, I have one more. And it's for Neji.

-everyone stops and stares at Neji, who goes wide-eyed-

**Neji:** Another one?

-sad music starts playing-

**Sakura:** We'll miss you, Neji.

**Ino: **-nods- We'll give your regards to Hinata when she comes back.

**Kakashi:** Too bad you won't be one of the proud K.I.A. So sad. Oh well.

**Sasuke: **-snorts- Good luck, stupid Hyuga.

**Itachi:** -settles down- This'll be amusing.

**Deidara:** -grabs popcorn- Suffering, yeah. Fun.

**Hanabi:** -snickers- Who has a camera?

**ACD:** What's the DARE?

**Shuiro Ecstasy: **I dare you to sing a Hannah Montana song.

-there's a pause and the music stops-

**Neji: **-looks relieved- You said that last time. I'm still not doing it.

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Okay, then I have ONE MORE dare. Ino, use you Mind Transfer Jutsu and MAKE Neji do it.

**Ino: **-blinks-

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Don't worry. No one will make fun of you for it.

**Ino:** -smiles suddenly- Okay!

**Neji:** -tries to run- NOOOO!!!!!

**Naruto: **GRAB HIM!!!

-Kiba and Naruto tackle Neji and hold him in place-

**Hanabi:** Hold on. –braids Neji's hair- All done.

**Shikamaru:** You're all clear, Ino.

**Ino:** -holds up hands and grins- MIND TRANSFER JUTSU!!!

**Neji:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-- -suddenly stops as Ino's body falls-

**Naruto:** -backs away- …Ino?

**Shuiro Ecstasy&ACD:** We're ready! –pull out video recorders-

-everyone's silent watching Neji-

**Neji:** -suddenly looks up and grins- You get the BEEEESSST OF BOTH WORLDS!!!

-everyone bursts out laughing-

**Sasuke:** -clutching his stomach- THAT'S SO RICH!!!

**Neji: **Chillin' out, take it slow, then you ROCK OUT THE SHOW!!! You get the BEEEESSST OF BOTH WORLDS!!! Mix it all together and you know you got the BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!!!

**ACD:** This is priceless!!! This is SO going on YouTube!

**Shuiro Ecstasy: **Do another!

**Neji: **-starts dancing- Everybody makes mistakes! Everybody has those days! Everybody knows what, what I'm talkin' 'bout. Everybody gets that way! NOBODY'S PERFECT! I GOTTA WORK IT! AGAIN AND AGAIN 'TIL I GET IT RIGHT!!!

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Okay, okay! You can stop now!

**Neji:** -shrugs- Okay!

-Ino goes back into her own body-

**Ino:** That was fun!

**Neji:** Someone shoot me!

**ACD:** Not now, Neji. We still have to do our contest.

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** I'm not done yet!

**ACD:** Well, then HURRY UP!

**Shuiro Ecstasy: **Butthole.

**ACD: **This is MY show. Hurry before I kick you off.

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Fine! Okay, I just wanted to tell Sasuke that I'm really sorry for putting him through so much crap yesterday. I'm very sorry. –hugs him and whispers- Just stay away from Orochimaru.

**ACD:** Yeah, if you HAVE to be gay, be gay with someone like…Naruto.

-Naruto and Sasuke faint-

**ACD:** They're just not ready to come out yet.

**Shuiro Ecstasy: **-shakes her head sadly- Oh well. Now, to Itachi, I just want to tell you that I'm sorry for pestering you so much, too. My way of making it up to you was by not daring you to do anything today!

**Itachi:** -blinks, then smiles- Thank you.

**Sakura:** He…h-he SMILED!!!

**Ino:** -squeals- He's so CUTE!!!

**ACD:** I SO got a picture of that.

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Aw, yay! –hugs Itachi- He smiled at me! Even though I really wanted to dare you… -quickly braids a strand of Itachi hair, then takes it out- Sorry.

**Itachi:** Uh, it's fine…I guess.

**ACD:** Okay, bye sis!

**Shuiro Ecstasy:** Bye, everyone!

**ACD:** Now, so that we have an interesting contest since I can't think of any, we're going to have ANOTHER guest on the show today. You all met Shuiro Ecstasy yesterday, my big sis, so now you all get to meet…drum roll please.

-a magical drum roll begins-

**ACD:** My LITTLE sister: SparrowFox!

**SparrowFox:** -does a crazy face- HI!

**ACD:** Not the time, SparrowFox. Anyway, this is her penname for other sites. She's not a writer like me and Shuiro Ecstasy, so she doesn't have a profile on . I'm just letting all of you know. So, SparrowFox, what should the contest be for today?

**SparrowFox:** …

**ACD:** Everyone be super quiet while she thinks.

-Jeopardy music begins to play as everyone is still-

**SparrowFox:** BEST GAY COUPLE!!!

-everyone sweat drops-

**Kiba: **I don't want to win THAT.

**Sakura: **Yeah…me neither.

**ACD:** No, it's perfect!_ Shinobi Hotline Contest #4: Best Gay Couple_!

**Everyone:** What?!?!?!

**ACD:** -shrugs- I'm a fan of yaoi. Not so much yuri…but I like yaoi.

**SparrowFox:** Yay!!!!!! –blinks- I want the first couple to be Itachi and Sasuke.

**Itachi:** Um…

**ACD:** We're suppose to draw the names…

**SparrowFox:** -screams- ITACHI AND SASUKE!!!!! BEFORE I EAT YOU!!!

**ACD: **Okay, okay!!! Fine, _Contestant #1:_ Itachi Uchiha and Sasuke Uchiha. Cheater.

**SparrowFox:** -snorts and snarls at the same time- Rawr!

-everyone backs away from SparrowFox-

**ACD:** Okay, now Sakura, pick out of this hat. Sasuke and Itachi's names are still in there, so they might get picked again.

**Sakura:** Crap… Uh… This says Lee…and this says…Gai. Go figure.

**Gai: **How…strange.

**Kakashi:** Not the kind of youth you were talking about?

**Gai:** I WILL TRY WITH ALL MY HEART TO WIN FOR MY STUDENT!!!

**Kurenai:** Does he even get it?

**Asuma:** I don't think so.

**ACD:** Nope. Now…oh, Sasuke's unconscious. I forgot. Orochimaru, you pick one.

**Orochimaru:** Why certainly… This one says…oh, Itachi. How exciting.

**Itachi:** -shudders- Eh.

**Deidara:** I feel sorry for you, yeah.

**Itachi:** Me, too.

**Orochimaru:** And this is… -frowns and glares at the paper- NARUTO?

**Sakura:** -bursts out laughing- Haha!!!

**Ino:** Uh…isn't Itachi YOUR date, Sakura?

**Sakura:** -stops laughing- Shit.

**ACD:** Glad Naruto's still unconscious, too._ Contestant #2:_ Itachi Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki.

**Kakashi:** Oh definitely.

**Kiba:** -snickers- What a loser.

**SparrowFox:** -tackles the hat and grabs two pieces of paper- Tenten and Temari!

**ACD:** You didn't even read it…

**SparrowFox:** -glares- So?

**Temari:** No. Way.

**Shikamaru:** Wow…

**Ino:** -bursts out laughing- Haha! Karma's a bitch, like you!

**Tenten:** -goes pale- I'd rather date Lee.

**Temari:** No shit, dumbass. I'd rather make out with Kankuro.

**Kankuro: **Gross.

**Gaara:** …

**SparrowFox:** -goes wide-eyed and whispers something to ACD-

**ACD:** -rolls eyes- Go ahead.

**SparrowFox: **Sweet! –runs over and attacks Gaara with a hug- I LOVE YOU, GAARA!!!!!!!

**Gaara:** -eyes grow huge- …

**Temari:** Wow. He actually has a fangirl?

**ACD:** Oh, you'd be surprised. SparrowFox, sit!

**SparrowFox:** -frowns and walks back over to ACD- Fine.

**ACD:** Good gremlin. –gives SparrowFox a cookie- 'Kay, _Contestant #3:_ Temari and Tenten. Next!

**Kakashi: **I'll pick two.

**ACD:** Go for it.

**Kakashi:** -stares at the pieces of paper- Well…hehe…this is awkward.

**ACD:** Why? Who'd you get paired with?

**Kakashi:** Oh, not me. It's Neji and Shino.

**Shino:** That's weird.

**ACD:** That IS weird. Well, no one's voting for that pairing. _Contestant #4:_ Neji Hyuga and Shino Aburame.

**Kiba:** Creepy. Let me pick one!

**ACD:** Alrighty.

**Kiba:** Um, this says Gaara and this says…

**Gaara:** …

**Temari:** ER…awkward.

**Kankuro:** -laughing hysterically- Who's the unlucky bitch?

**Gaara:** Pick a different name.

**ACD:** Sorry Gaara, but you have to participate. As of today, I'm getting stricter with the rules. You all signed contracts, so you HAVE to do what I say. You're making my readers get bored. Kiba, who's the dude?

**Kiba:** Sasuke…

**ACD:** Cool. So, Itachi and Sasuke are going up twice. _Contestant #5:_ Sasuke Uchiha and Gaara.

**Gaara:** …I hate him.

**Sakura:** Lucky you.

**Temari:** Not so lucky YOU.

**Sakura: **Why?

**Temari:** 'Cause I just picked your name.

-Kakashi and Ino snort-

**ACD:** -picks another piece of paper- Well, the other one is Ino, so you can shut your face, piggy. _Contestant #6:_ Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka.

**Sakura&Ino: **WHAT?!?!?!? NO WAY!!!!!!!!

**ACD:** Too bad. SparrowFox, you pick the last one.

**SparrowFox:** -jumps at the hat- OKAY!

-paper goes flying everywhere-

**ACD:** Stupid.

**SparrowFox:** -holds up two pieces of paper- I gotta 'em!!!

**ACD:** Well, READ them.

**SparrowFox:** -looks at paper and starts laughing- DEIDARA AND SHIKAMARU!!

**Ino:** Woah! Not cool!

**Deidara:** Huh? No, yeah! No way!

**Itachi:** Deal with it. I'm either with my BROTHER or the person I'm supposed to KILL.

**SparrowFox:** -poking Shikamaru- He's asleep again!

**ACD:** Okay, readers. A nice night, no? Well, we've actually hit thirty pages in this one!

**SparrowFox:** -pulls out a frying pan- Want me to wake him up?

**ACD:** No! BAD SPARROWFOX! No hitting!

**SparrowFox:** -blinks innocently- I was just gonna fry him some eggs and bacon.

**Ino:** Weirdo.

**Sakura:** Don't cook Ino.

**Ino:** Forehead girl!

**Sakura:** PIGGY!

**SparrowFox:** Never mind! Jeez! –drops pan-

**Shikamaru:** OW!

**SparrowFox:** Oops! Sorry! Hey, you were paired with Deidara, Shikamaru!

**Shikamaru:** EHHH? Troublesome contest!

**ACD:** Okay. Goodnight everyone! Review and we'll see you next time, hopefully sooner!!! Bye!!!

**SparrowFox:** BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**ACD:** Calm down! See ya, everyone!


End file.
